well...for all my praying peeps who keep me in check, ol' matty-boy is sick...
It's probably at the worst possible time because I have a hebrew final exam tomorrow. But is there a worst possible time with God? (I've got some schmelcus...so discuss amongst yourselves).
These past several days have been interesting because a couple things have occurred to me while I've been: feverish with headaches, body aches, having chills that alternate with cold sweats (SUH-wets--although if you look at it long enough it starts to look like SUH-weets...this must be why English linguistic rules are impossible to understand), phlegmy (sounds exactly the way it feels), and congested.
It's actually the most pitiful sight you can imagine: this morning I woke up much like the other ten times overnight--cold, coughing and congested. But I needed to get out of bed because I wanted to call the doctor's office right when they opened. Realizing that my roommates were still sleeping and that--oddly enough--the hallway outside of our room was warmer than in the room, I went to sit by the heater with a jacket and a scarf.
7:50am: office opens at 8, so I'm thinking that somebody's got to be there to pick up the phone. So I call....but alas, nothing. So I'm freezing and sweating at the same time so I start praying just asking God that the doctor would be able to see me on short notice. (Honestly, I also think I'm praying to use the time so that when I finish the office might be open when I call).
7:55am: I call again, but alas, nothing. So the heater only heats up half my body (and mostly my leg) because it's set in the wall and I'm sitting parallel to it. For some reason I can't get my self to sit facing it--mostly because I don't want to move and because I'm breathing in all this hot air and it's drying me out (and did I mention sweating?). I need to move because the other side of my body is freezing, so I do eventually move facing the other way.
7:58am: I call again, but alas...they're committed to providing excellent care, the office is now closed. At least that's what I'm hearing for the third time, and I'm praying because now I'm just plain cranky.
8am, 8:05am: Same deal but around 8:06am, I'm sweating, too warm, yet too cold, I've been spitting out my lungs, and because I'm sitting next to this heater I'm all dried out and, y'know what? I'm too tired to remove myself from the warmth and refill my waterbottle. And then it hits me:
How fortunate and blessed am I to have this jacket and scarf, this roof over my head, this heater that works (and perhaps too well), this cell-phone in my hand, my insurance that will cover my doctor's visit, my brother who is a doctor that is able to counsel me, medicines that can heal me, money that can buy them, my family who provides it for me and who has taken care of me through every trial with asthma, etc...
It just brought me to tears thinking of how fortunate I am and yet how ungrateful I had become. In the cities there are children who grow up without adequate housing, food or heat, without medical insurance, without a phone in their house, without medicines, without money to buy them, without adequate clothing in the winter (or even clothes that fit), etc. And I know these children--they are the faces I see almost every day during the week--most of whom may develop asthma themselves if they don't have it already from being in the city where air quality is found lacking due to traffic congestion and from living in such close quarters.
If being given much means that much will be required, then all that I have is subject to God's judgement. The ungratefulness of my response in spite of my riches speaks loudly of how indeed, it is hard for the rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Can I deny myself and give up my riches? What are they and what will it mean for me to give them up? Will my standard of living change? Will my ideals of success change? Will my job change? Will I need to move? Will my plans for a financially secure future have to be put on hold? Will who I look for to be in relationships with change? Will my parents understand?
Yet blessed are the poor...for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention (thanks Tim B.)--funny how things are when you but them in perspective--that I found out later in the day that I've got a pretty severe case of bronchitis...even so praise the Lord for how he keeps me, and my sincere thanks for all of your prayers. | 
Lifetime
